Boku no Love Triangle
by i-am-hungry
Summary: Allen Walker has just entered collage, meets a sexy guy called Kanda, but what happens after that? A yullen story with a little twist. with no Lenalee what-so-eva WOOT! XD
1. Love at First Sight

**OK my brand new fic where i dont even know if its arekan or yullen**

**but i have decided that its yullen **

**YAY!!**

**XD well**

**ok**

**discaimer: i do not own dgm. Katsura Hoshino does**

**ok it might be a little confusing so tell me please ^^**

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**Prologue:**

There was a time, in an unknown world.

War.

Ogres, centaurs, fairies and dwarves, they all participated in this war. A war of dominance. A war of never ending violence. A war where there would never be any peace.

One kin, clan, managed to escape this horrible war. Distant relatives of the witches and wizards that had stayed behind to fight for their pride.

Time travellers.

They used their magic, sending each of their children somewhere, anywhere, as long as they were safe. Knowing that they were never to return to their sides. Only very few know the art of time travelling, moving their own time and space along with them. Into a completely new and different environment.

There was no turning back.

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**Chapter 1**

The sunlight poured through the window, as the birds sang their wake up call.

"_Ghhhh…not now!"_ I thought pulling the sheets over my head, _"Its too early to wake up!!" _

"Allen! Breakfast is ready!" I heard Jerry calling from downstairs, along with the aroma of bacon and eggs. Suddenly a wave of memory came over me, "OH CRAP!!" I sprang up, taking a quick glance at my clock before pulling out some clothes, anything would do, as long as I wasn't late.

I found myself rushing down the stairs. Peeking a look in the bathroom mirror to check out if my hair was in place. I stared blankly at the bottles of dye I had tried last night to colour my white hair, but nothing had worked. Running past the table, I grabbed myself a piece of buttered toast, hopping on one foot, trying to put my shoes on as I attempted to say goodbye to Jerry.

"See ya Allen!" Komui's head popped out of the study doorway, "Good luck on your first day of collage!"

"_How can I have a good reputation if I was late on the first day?" _I ran across the road as a car beeped angrily at me. I waved a hand in apology. I knew I wasn't going to make it. No one can run 1k in five minutes can they?

***

"Allen Walker." I heard my name as I entered the corridor near my classroom.

"HERE!" I screamed, throwing the door open.

It was a replay of the first day of junior high. Every one laughed aloud as I went red, I could feel my face burning up, I was such an idiot.

"Be quiet every one. Please sit down Walker." The teacher ordered, looking at me in disdain. I nodded and obeyed picking a vacant seat at the end of a row, pulling my books out, _"I thought collage was different from school…"_ I listened to the droning of the teacher's voice, but it was in such a monotone, I wondered how anyone else could stand listening to him for an hour.

Class ended as I wiped the drool off my face, physics wasn't the best thing to learn. I had another class before lunch.

"Lunch…" I murmured, thinking about the obento that Jerry had made for me. The cute little octopus shaped cocktails and the onigiri. But what was best was the mitarashi dango that was for after, just waiting for me.

Class passed by in a blur as I fell asleep, only awaking when the bell had gone and every one was getting out of their seats.

"Remember everyone we have a test next lesson on today's topic." The rather scary looking teacher stated, her voice like ice, drilling it into our minds.

I sat there for a second, blank as the exercise book before me.

"A TEST?" I cried, how inhumane it was and only on the first day of collage. But the teacher had already left, even if I did see her again, I wouldn't have the courage to speak to her, _"What would I say to her anyway? Oh I'm sorry miss. I didn't know we were having a test and I accidentally fell asleep in your class. Do you think I can have the notes? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!" _I threw my arms in the air, wanting to scream, _"AS IF NOTES ARE GOING TO FLY RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!" _

Suddenly a stack of notes landed in front of me, I thought God was saving me from my horrible life. But it wasn't God, it was a guy.

"You can have those, I'll share with a friend." his voice was deep, yet calming. Stern, yet cool.

I looked up, his features stood out at me like a neon light, flashing with all its bright colours. He had really long black hair, tied up in a high ponytail, his fringe almost covering his eyes, two strands of loose hair dangled at either sides of his face, but I could still tell it was a guy. His almond shaped eyes were a beautiful shade of navy blue, one that I had never seen before.

"Ah thank you, but I'm sure I could just ask the teacher." I stuttered, _"OF COURSE NOT!!"_ I screamed at myself.

"Just take it." he ordered, his eyes narrowing a little.

"Well, thank you then, I'll return them to you tomorrow." I replied going red.

"You got lunch?" he asked.

I nodded, avoiding eye contact, clutching the notes to my chest.

"You have a name right?" he asked in an I-don't-really-care-if-you-don't-have-a-name sort of tone.

"Umm, yes. Allen, Allen Walker." I fiddled with my jeans.

"Kanda." he just said, walking away, as I eagerly tried to keep up.

***

"Kanda." I said his name as if it were some sort of drug, tasting sweet on my lips, "Kanda." I visualised his face in my mind, smiling gently.

"_Dear God,_

_is there such a thing as love at first sight?"_

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_^^; so what did ya think?_

_its about 2 pages and has about 10 chapters so please_

_Reveiws appreciated!!_


	2. Boyfriend

**Hello there!**

**i just want to say, i hate editing.....**

**but my writing sucks when i dont (for all those people that pointed out erorrs in the spider story)**

**thanks! i will learn my flowers next time!!!**

**any way**

**i present chapter 2!**

**its a little shorter i think....**

**anyways~ have fun!**

**Disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters. Katsura Hoshino does....**

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"So Kanda, did you get what the teacher had said? I don't get the part about the laws and stuff. " I threw some gum into my mouth, thinking over the test questions, checking them off one by one, "Damn I think I got number fifteen wrong!"

Kanda didn't answer, he seemed to be checking his watch very often. I was a little curious, but I didn't want to interfere in his privacy.

We were sitting on the steps leading down to the main gates of the collage. I liked the scenery here, the maple trees lined the paths, right now it was autumn, the trees were fiery reds and orange carpeting the grass in a grand quilt. I had taken a couple of art classes outside and I had enjoyed them thoroughly, but Kanda had no interest in art. So I couldn't go against him. I wanted to spend more time with him.

"Yuu!" a voice called out.

Kanda turned around, his eyes filled with a glimmer of happiness, but his lips didn't move, "Baka usagi, you're late again."

I turned around to see another rather cute boy, but not as cool as Kanda.

He had red hair the same colour as the autumn leaves, falling over his face. Two gold earrings dangled from his ears. His eyes were a deep green like spring in a forest.

"I'm sorry Yuu! The teacher held me in!"

"_Yuu? Who's that? The only person here is Kanda!"_

"Eh? Is this a friend? Hello!" he gave a big smile, "I'm Lavi nice to meet'cha!" he held out his hand.

"_Who the hell does he think he is? This jerk, he's acting all nice as if he knows me."_

"He's just a moyashi." Kanda snapped, folding his arms across his chest. Lavi came up and hugged him, giving him a kiss on the forehead. I watched, awestruck. Kanda went slightly red, pushing Lavi way, "Don't, there are people watching."

I struggled to keep my anger in place. I didn't understand why this person was all snuggly with Kanda and calling him Yuu. I felt a little foolish right now, but I couldn't control those feelings within me.

"Don't worry about him." Kanda's soft words interrupted my vicious thoughts, "I don't think I told you but Yuu is my Christian name."

I felt a little shocked that Kanda had kept this from me but I guess he had his reasons.

"Want to go out for dinner Yuu-chan? Then we'll go back home." Lavi asked, releasing him from his deadly grasp. Kanda made a face, finally giving an answer after a while, "Okay."

I wanted to come along but I didn't need to ask. Kanda twisted around, "You want to come?"

I nodded, happy that he had considered my feelings.

"Awwwww but I thought it was our little date…" Lavi whined, grabbing Kanda's hand as they got up. I felt a little impulse to snatch his Kanda's hand away from Lavi's. But then again, I didn't have the courage, all I could do was stick out my tongue at him as he turned his back to me.

"_BLEHHH!! One day I'll grab that hand right before your eyes. JERK!"_

***

"OH NO!! LOOK AT THE TIME!! I'M SORRY YUU BUT I'VE GOT A JOB NOW!" Lavi shot up suddenly, wiping his mouth quickly, "I'll pay for it! See ya! Love ya Yuu!" Lavi ran round the table, giving Kanda a quick peck on the lips.

My blood boiled as I watched it again. Lavi left, paying at the counter. Kanda crossed his arms over his chest, a little of the spark in his eyes dies down.

"Is he your brother or something?" I asked, eyeing him as he tripped over, I knew it was a stupid question but they seemed so close.

"Wha!!!" Kanda spat out the water he was drinking, "Of course he isn't! He's my _boyfriend_!"

That was a direct hit, knife in the chest, "Oh, I'm sorry, I should have realised earlier." I gave a nervous laugh.

"_IDIOT, NOW IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"_

I stood up, "Umm I'm sorry I've got to go too Kanda."

"I'll walk you."

"No thanks I'm fine." I left, not wanting to face him.

***

I sat on the swings of a deserted playground, close to Jerry's place. I thought about it, the situation was so clear. I knew that such a nice person like Kanda would have been taken.

I wanted to cry, yet I couldn't. I looked at my right hand, red and raw since the day I had arrived here, side affects of my journey through time, including my white hair and pentacle-shaped scar down my face.

"_No one wants a retard that looks like he came from a circus freak show."_

I told myself as I gave the swing one last solid push before jumping off.

I looked up at the sky, scattered with the little stars, millions of light-years away. Maybe I would have been better of being one of those stars, I wouldn't have to think or do anything all day long. My mother came into mind, she would have known what to do, or at least tell me what to do.

Suddenly I realised, mother was giving me the answer, the stars. I couldn't falter until I died. I had to continue shedding my light to everyone around me, so that I could win Kanda's heart.

"_Dear God,_

_if I had a wish,_

_any wish. _

_Would you grant it?_

_Because if you would,_

_I hope for eternal happiness."_

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**Ok thanks for reading! this fic is about 10 chapters long ^^;**

**(i think i did mention that before....)**

**reveiws are appreciated!! ya~**

**see ya next chapter!**


	3. Happiness

**LOL **

**im soooo sorry this came out late ^^;**

**here we have another new chapter weeeeee~**

**im not sure if i can update as quickly as Allen to Nella coz the chapters are a little longer**

**im sorry... im just not used to writing long passages, coz its not my thing ^^;**

**anyways enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: i do NOT own any of these characters. They al belong to Katsura Hoshino (still wishing you a quick recovery)**

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The alarm went off as I leapt up, it was Saturday and I was meeting up with Kanda. I couldn't wait! I whistled as I brushed my hair and my teeth. I wasn't expecting anything big. Just lunch and maybe watch a movie.

For the past month I had gotten to know Kanda very well, I went up to his house pretty often because Lavi wasn't around. I felt like I was getting some where. Lavi didn't show up very often at school, but when he did I did my best to smile at him, but somehow my smiles came out as lopsided grins.

I was all dressed, in a pair of jeans with a woollen yellow jumper and a cute scarf with pompoms at the end. I took a deep breath as the cold air of winter spiked my lungs. It hadn't snowed yet but I had a feeling it would. I got to Kanda's place with no trouble, an apartment painted baby pink, it stood out a little from all the other buildings around.

"_Just like Kanda."_ I thought, comparing the building to the person. I rang the doorbell, the sound of rushed running and fumbling came from behind the door, followed by a slight click of the lock. Kanda peeked through, leaving the chain on.

"Moyashi, I'll be there in a sec." he told me.

I smiled, nothing could put me down today, "Its ok, take your time." I smiled.

Kanda's eyes went wide with surprise for a second, "Thanks…" he mumbled and went off.

I leant against the walls, the paint cracked and beginning to peel already, despite the building being only a couple of years old. I looked out the little barred window, watching the grey sky stir. It was going to snow, for sure. I hummed to myself softly, thinking about what we could eat. Kanda didn't like spicy things so maybe we could go to a Chinese restaurant.

"Done." Kanda came out, wile I was picking at the paint out of boredom. He was breathing heavily, he clothes a little ruffled.

"Is there some one else in there?" I asked as the sound of crashing of porcelain and swearing could be heard.

"Don't worry, it was my cat." Kanda replied quickly ushering me out of the building. I doubted cats could speak but that flew off my mind as I realized I was to have Kanda all to myself for the next few hours.

Kanda had let his hair down today, sometimes I wondered if it got in his way. He wore a pair of earmuffs to keep out the cold and a pair of gloves. He was apparently sensitive to the cold, seeing him wrap a scarf on after the gloves.

"So, where do you want to go, moyashi?"

"It's Allen." I retorted, but secretly I loved him calling me that, it was like a nick-name just for me. I saw him smirk, something that he rarely did, only when he was happy. I didn't want Kanda to wait, "Well I was thinking about a movie." I blushed, fiddling with the pompoms on my scarf.

"Ok then, its decided." Kanda said, grabbing my hand in his, leading us to town. I couldn't be happier, he never held my hand, ever. It was so warm, different to just holding hands with a random.

After the movie we both came out.

"Wow that was good!" stated, stretching my muscles, "I loved that part with the bunnies!"

Kanda gave another smirk. I felt really warm and fuzzy inside as I saw that he was happy.

"Lets go eat." Kanda suggested.

"_Maybe my life's turning out for the better."_

"Yhea lets go! I'm starving!"

We headed to a Chinese restaurant Kanda holding my hand once again.

***

"Did you have fun today?" I wondered aloud, kicking a tuft of grass that as growing beneath the swings. My question seemed to take Kanda by surprise.

"Sure." he answered, swinging a bit on his own swing, "Moyashi."

"Allen." I corrected. He gave smirk again.

"Do you know what day it is today?" he asked, "Think hard, it was in your diary."

I thought so hard that I felt that my brains would fall out, my forehead crinkled up in thought.

Finally I gave a sigh, "I'm sorry Kanda, I just cant remember."

Kanda produced a small package from his pocket, "Does this help?"

I shook my head no.

He smiled, not smirked, but smiled and placed the package in my hands. I stared at it blankly.

"Close your eyes for a sec."

I obeyed.

I felt Kanda's lips brush against mine, a tremor of joy flew down my spine.

"Happy Birthday." he whispered into my ear.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to wake up from this dream.

"Open your eyes, silly."

His hand touched my face, giving me the courage to open my eyes slowly.

It wasn't a dream, it was real.

Suddenly I remembered, it was my birthday. But I had been so overjoyed that I was meeting up with Kanda that I forgot.

"What kinda idiot forgets his own birthday?" Kanda said, indicating for me to open the package.

I carefully opened the small present, wrapped in simple brown paper. Inside was a small box, which I opened. My heart leapt with joy as I saw what was inside. It was a small silver heart shaped locket, engraved with my initials.

"You like it?" Kanda looked at me, expecting an answer. I was lost for words, I just stared at it.

"Guess that's a yes." he chuckled, removing his gloves and picking the treasure out of the box, "It took me quite a while to pick too. But I thought it was a little too girly." he helped me but it on.

I touched it lightly with my left hand, "No. Its perfect." I breathed. Suddenly I felt something touch my head, lightly.

I looked up. It was snowing! I held out my hand to catch the snow. It was beautiful, pure white, frozen water.

"Kanda."

"Huh?"

"The snow reminds me of you. Because snow is one thing, water, yet it can change into so many different forms, states. Just like you, your so talented." I smiled.

"Well, same for me."

"I don't get it, decipher for me please, if you may. Professor Kanda." I laughed.

"The snow reminds me of you. Because it's just as beautiful as you are."

My eyes went wide. No one had ever told me that, not since I was a child.

"As if!" I laughed, getting up and running off, "At least I can run faster than them!"

"At lest I can catch you moyashi!"

"_Dear God,_

_has any one ever died_

_because they were too happy?_

_Because I think I could,_

_right now."_

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**Liked it?**

**drop me a reveiw wont ya?**

**id be sooo happy if ya did**

**and point out all my stupid little mistakes....**

**anyway hold on for the next chapter!!!!**


	4. Do you Love me?

**Gah! now im starting to doubt my ending a little and if it is gonna turn out ok ...**

**i hope that every one reads till the end even though my updating is a little slow **

**im sorry *bows***

**anyway im drawing alot more that typing fic.**

**if you have some spare time please come visit mee at my homepage on deviant art~**

**id be happy if you could drop by XD**

**disclaimer: i do not own DGM all the characters belong to Katsura Hoshino **

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"Hey Kanda."

"What is it?"

"…Oh nothing, never mind."

I bit my chopstick, something had been on my mind lately. I was too chicken to ask though. I saw Kanda yesterday with Lavi, I felt a little jealous but not as much as I did when I had first met him. Because I was pretty close to overtaking the position Lavi had right now.

I gave myself a smirk, drinking the rest of the corn soup I was given. It wasn't soon before Kanda was mine, just for myself. I knew I was being childish but I really love Kanda.

"Hello?" Kanda answered his phone, placing his fork down. I took one of his strawberries. Kanda gave me a glare.

"Oh, its you, baka usagi."

I listened, pretending not to pay any attention, looking out the window and pushing a cherry tomato around on my plate.

"Yes, yes. What do want to eat tonight? No. Stop being such a perverted freak."

I'm pretty sure the answer to the question was _"you."_ it was sickening to think of.

I ate my rice, still eavesdropping on Kanda's conversation.

"_I wonder if Lavi has done it with Kanda yet." _I wondered, _"Have they actually gone that far?" _I shook my head vigorously, I was being an idiot thinking those sort of things.

Kanda's phone call ended, he shoved the phone in his right pocket, "We don't have any more classes today, so where do you want to go?"

I thought about it, Jerry was at home and they just ate. I couldn't risk going to Kanda's house in case Lavi was there.

"The park." I said simply.

***

The road was completely frozen over, the tree branches were bear, weighed down by the snow that had fallen the night before. Everything was covered in a thin layer of snow , including the playground.

I held Kanda's hand the whole way there, still pondering on my problem. I decided I would ask.

Kanda wiped the snow off the seat and gestured for me to sit down. Thanking him I sat down. As he proceeded to do the same with the next swing, dropping himself down.

"Kanda…" I began.

"Yes?" Kanda listened, glancing into the distance before kicking up snow.

"Ummm do you…. do you…love…umm I mean…" I stuttered a bit.

Kanda looked at me. I blushed, covering my face with a hand.

"D-d-do you love Lavi more than me?" I blurted out, the last few words just barely audible.

Kanda sat there for a moment, pondering.

"_Please, let it be a no….please…"_ I begged secretly in my heart.

Kanda opened his mouth, then closed it again, rethinking his words, "A little, I guess." he stared hard at the ground, then looked up again "But I love you too moyashi." he added. He went red, but not because of the cold weather.

I stood up, feeling as if a ten tonne weight had just plopped itself onto me, "Kanda, I just forgot, I have to buy something, you can head home first."

"I'll go-"

"THERE'S NO NEED!!" I shouted, making him jump, "I mean, its ok you don't need to." I wanted to cry.

"Ok…" Kanda replied in a soft voice, he got up, and left.

I stood there for who knows how long. With out even realising, I was crying, warm tears trickling down, falling into the snow. I didn't know why I even felt this way, I had so many emotions stirring up inside myself. I felt betrayed, foolish, stupid and overconfident.

"My dear, dear Allen." a voice broke the silence.

I froze, it was a voice that I recognized, a voice that I hadn't heard for several years. I turned around, knowing I couldn't escape this situation.

"Tyki Mikk…"

"Yes, I came to get you. Allen Walker."

"_Dear God,_

_can I turn back time?_

_Turn it back to that time,_

_where_

_I was never born?"_

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**weeee~ finally~**

**i feel good now this chapter is out!**

***stretches* i hope you can join in for the next chapter....**

**(which is is a little confusing....)**


	5. Sleeping Beauty

**this is where i think it gets a little confusing**

**the time jumps are what makes it all weird...**

**anyways~ i just realised i have to shorten the story by a chapter **

**sorry... now its nine chapters~**

**I just got loveless vol 7 **

**KYA~ it was soooooo good~**

**off topic...**

**i hope people dont mind TykiXAllen....**

**Disclaimer: i do not own DGM, Katsura Hoshino does**

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"Tyki… why, why are you here?"

"To came get you. I've travelled through time, just to look for you." he smirked, lighting a cigarette.

There was no doubt it was Tyki Mikk, his eyes were filled with greed, his voice like velvet.

"Don't you remember the promise we made?" he drew from his cigarette.

I remembered. How could I forget?

***

"Be careful wont you? Don't hurt yourselves!" mother yelled, as I waved goodbye.

I turned to face Tyki, "Where do you want to go Tyki?"

"Anywhere, as long as you're there, Allen." he replied, taking my hand and kissing it gently. Even though Tyki was seven years older, he didn't seem to mind playing along with my idiotically childish games.

"Well then, let's go to the secret hideout and read!" I smiled, pulling out one of the new picture books I had got, "You'll read it out for me wont you?"

"Of course my little princess." he laughed, "You may be only be seven years old, but you never fail to amuse me."

I grabbed his hand, pulling him along.

"…The prince gave her a kiss and the princess woke up from her deep sleep. They got married and lived happily ever after." Tyki concluded, closing the book.

I looked up, delighted by the story I had just heard, "So Tyki, if I fell asleep and wouldn't wake up, would some one come and kiss me?" I fell back into the grass, placing my hands on my chest, closing my eyes like the princess in her enchanted sleep.

Tyki gave another one of his deep laughs, "Of course, I would be the prince, right?"

He leaned over me, kissing my nose. I giggled, trying to retain my seriousness, but failed, bursting into a fit of delighted laughter.

"We'll get married and you'll be mine forever. Sound good Allen?" Tyki placed a blade of grass in his mouth.

I laughed again "Sure Tyki!"

"Promise?"

"Promise." I swore.

I was such an idiot.

***

"You are mine, Allen, nothing can change that." his voice pierced my ears.

"_I can't love you, not any more, not when I have one person I treasure the most."_

I couldn't say it to his face.

But Tyki saw right through me, he gave another grin, dropping his cigarette, and disappearing into thin air.

"Tyk- NO COME BACK!" I knew I couldn't catch him, he was a master of time travelling after all. My simple spells wouldn't help. I ran hurriedly towards the pink building, five blocks away.

"_Please, be safe Kanda."_ I begged, I didn't want to drag him into this.

I sprinted with all the energy I had, running to my legs limit. My tears froze on my cheeks, my gasping breaths fogging up in the air.

"_Tyki, don't touch Kanda! DON'T TOUCH HIM!" _

I bit my lip, whispering a silent prayer into the cold air. Blown away the moment the words came out of my lips. My anger drove me faster, my determination gave me wings on my feet. I didn't look anywhere else, except for that pink building, so far, yet so close.

I reached the building, not bothered to wait for the elevator, I ran up the stairs. I heaved myself up the steps, grabbing the handrails for support. Tyki was the sort of person to touch those that were precious to others.

Level twenty-five, I threw the door open, my chest heaving up and down.

"How pleased you could join us." The words dripped with sarcasm.

"LEAVE KANDA ALONE!!" I screamed, my rage taking over.

Tyki stood in the middle of the room, one hand wrapped across Kanda's chest and the other pressed a knife against his throat. Tyki had a malicious grin pasted on his face, "I've watched you all this time Allen. This man means a lot to you. Doesn't he? Well I've finally found you! You were running into folds of time, thinking I wouldn't find you! HA! What a joke. You can never escape from me. Like I said before, you're mine."

I took a small step forward, fearing for Kanda's life.

Tyki noticed and pressed the knife into his hostage's neck, the blood trickling down, "Don't move, or this man dies."

"_Dear God,_

_in times of need, _

_like now. _

_Why do you abandon me? _

_Didn't you promise me you'd always be there?"_

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**This chapter was fun to write but i dont even know why~**

**XD**

**anyways as always reveiws appreciated..**

**please also tell me if this part was confusing **

**im not sure~**


	6. Life

**Im really sorry i kept every one waiting **

** i re-read it and i recon its kinda confusing **

**i tried to make it as clear as possible yet it still confusing **

**GAH *bangs head on table***

**Please tell me if you get confused coz theres alot of people switching in this chapter...**

* * *

"There's no need to fight, Allen." all you have to do is forget this idiot and come with me." Tyki bargained, pretty confident of himself.

"AS IF!" I screamed, I didn't want to spend the rest of my days with this person, "Your just delusional, there is no way I would go anywhere with you." I dug my nails into my skin, feeling warm liquid dribble out.

"So your choosing this mans life in replacement of your freedom?" Tyki taunted, pushing the knife deeper.

Quickly I pulled my hands in front of me, writing a seal down my arm. I felt myself fly across to the other side of the room, behind Tyki. The basic teleportation magic had come in handy, "Leave Kanda alone!" I cried, throwing a punch at Tyki's head.

Surprised, he let Kanda go. But regaining his balance, he swung his knife. I felt searing pain shoot across my chest, "RUN KANDA!" I screamed, I couldn't let Tyki near him again. I watched as Kanda ran into a room, closing the door hurriedly.

* * *

I dived into the room, closing the door, my heart pounding in fear. Leaning against the wall, I listened to the crashing of furniture. I just couldn't shake off that feeling, the feeling of insecurity. Allen was outside fighting some sort of person that just suddenly appeared in my living room, threatening to kill me. I've never been so afraid in my life, as if there were chills running down my spine. Allen was in trouble and I couldn't even help him.

"_Lavi! He'll know what to do!" _I suddenly recalled my boyfriend, currently on his part time job at the vets. I pulled out my phone with trembling fingers, dialling his workplace number and holding it to my ear.

It rang once, twice. I held my breath.

Some one finally picked up, "Hello? Binary Pets Jenny speaking." a girl spoke quickly as I took a deep breath.

"Hello? Umm I was wondering if the Lavi's there." I stuttered.

"Just a moment." she replied as soon as the words had left my lips. I heard a chattering in the background and she returned t the phone, "I'm sorry but he just left."

I felt an urge to plead her and tell her to get him to come back, but I hung up without a word.

I dialled his cell phone, hoping that he hadn't turned it off.

The phone rang, it felt like an eternity before the other end picked up.

"Yuu-chan? What's wrong?" when heard his comforting voice, I could help but panic even further.

"Lavi, I – Allen.. he…" my words came out in gasps. I felt like an idiot for feeling like this.

"Don't worry! I'll head over now!" he reassured me, not needing me to tell him the situation.

I sat there in the room, hoping the Lavi would hurry up.

I was more afraid that I ever had in my life.

I was afraid that Allen would die.

* * *

I cold see the cars below me, running left and right, just waiting for me to fall. I struggled to pull myself free of Tyki's grip, but if I did I knew he would throw me over the edge of the balcony, leading to my doom.

"See Allen? See how much I love you? I love you so much I'd die with you!" Tyki screamed, tightening is grip around my throat. I felt the air being squeezed out of my lungs, I gasped, receiving nothing. I clawed at his hands, wheezing now.

Tyki's eyes were wide with anticipation, mental and unearthly. My vision started to loose focus, I watched as Tyki's face blurred. I gave one last futile attempt to remove the hands. I heard a banging in the background.

"Hey, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" a familiar voice broke the strangled silence.

"I'm just claiming what's supposedly mine." Tyki snarled, loosening his grip.

I took the chance, kicking him in the stomach with the remaining strength I had. Recoiling in pain he released me, Lavi ran over and grabbed my hand before fell over the edge of the balcony. Regaining my balance I grabbed Tyki roughly.

"Excuse me." I told Lavi before I thrust him over my shoulder.

Tyki flew headfirst into the glass coffee table that dominated nearly a third of the room. The sound of breaking glass, shattering into a million pieces, rang out. I breathed heavily, touching the bruises created on my neck.

Quickly, with the blood from the wound on my chest, I wrote a seal on the unconscious attacker's forehead.

* * *

"Allen, what's the matter?" mother asked, brushing away a stray piece of hair off my face, tucking it behind my ear.

I held the quilt tightly, trying to hide my face from her, "There are monsters. Their going to eat me." I said, knowing what I was saying was idiotic.

"That's not very manly." Mother giggled, bending over and kissing my forehead, "When you grow up, you'll protect mummy, wont you?" she smiled.

I wriggled around, sitting up and looking at her, wishing I could.

"Ok Allen-chan, here's the deal. I tell you how to get the monsters away and you have to promise me, when you grow up, you'll protect me. Good enough?"

I nodded.

"All you need to do is write this on their foreheads," she made a gesture in the air, I burned it into my memory, "And say…"

* * *

"…Seal this demon, away from my time, space, future and past. Lead this misguided soul to OBLIVION!" I screamed reciting the very words mother had told me so may years ago.

"_Dear God, _

_I wonder sometimes. _

_Do you make these things happen, _

_I mean, bad things._

_So that you can test our will to live? _

_To remember the things we don't want to?"_


	7. Tears

**ive looked over my reveiws and ive counted hw many times i saw 'poor Allen' **

**anyways~**

**enjoy the new chappie**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DGM KATSURA HOSHINO DOES~**

* * *

I watched as Tyki's body dissolved into small glass beads, disappearing into thin air. Standing there, I tried to get a hold of the overall situation.

Lavi didn't say anything, he just stood, watching my every movement. He crept into the room where Kanda was hiding. I could hear Lavi murmuring words of comfort to Kanda, making sure he was ok.

"_I'm dangerous." _The thought suddenly dawned on me. But before I even had time to think further, Kanda appeared, his eyes a little red.

I looked at my bloodstained hands feeling anguish build up in my chest, I suddenly felt stupid and idiotic.

"Kanda. Kanda. Kanda." I repeated, again and again, that name that gave me so much comfort. I fell into his arms and both of us fell to our knees. I cried my tears wetting the dried blood on my face, "Kanda. Kanda. Kanda." I continued to cry. He embraced me, holding me ever so tightly, his trembling hands ran over my face, wiping away my tears, "It's ok Allen, its ok." he murmured.

Those were the last words I heard before the world went black.

* * *

I stared at the unconscious moyashi in my arms, holding him tightly, "Lavi."

"Yes?" Lavi answered straight away, tentative of my feelings.

"Call an ambulance." I ordered.

The ambulance arrived, I watched as Allen was carried away. But I made no move to accompany him. Instead I lingered at the doorway, looking at the mess that was left. There was blood every where, whether it was mine or Allen's, I didn't really care.

I looked at the empty room, feeling empty inside too.

I felt arms wrap around me, Lavi give me a kiss on the head. I clung to him, tilting my head up for another. His lips pressed gently against mine, moving away after a while. We looked each other in the eyes. Lavi parted my fringe to one side, away from my eyes.

"You love him, don't you?" he whispered.

We stood in the silence of each other presence for a while. I answered a while later, "Yhea."

I walked outside.

"I'll give you some thinking time." Lavi had said.

The snow had layered thickly like a blanket, covering everything in white.

"I'm such an idiot." I said aloud kicking up snow, heading for the park.

I didn't have the guts to face Allen right now. I felt like an idiot, not even worth his time. I can't even protect moyashi at the most important time, all I could do was scamper into hiding and call for help.

"I wonder why moyashi even likes me." I thought aloud, sitting myself on the swings.

I watched as the sky turned grey once more, as if to answer "he doesn't."

* * *

I groaned, grunting with effort to get myself up. I had been in the hospital for about a week now. M wounds had completely healed but the lack of exercise left me stiff as a board No one had visited me, not even Kanda or his tag-along Lavi. Jerry was busy and didn't even know about the incident.

"_At least they wont worry about me."_ I made a futile attempt to cheer myself up, _"Neither will Kanda."_

The nurse came in, "Allen Walker?"

"Yes?"

"You are now discharged."

I was happy to hear that, _"I can visit Kanda later."_ I thought, picking up my belongings and leaving the building.

"I'm home!" I yelled, hearing the sound of the wok clanging.

"Oh Allen! The school rang up and told me you'd been absent for a whole week! Where have you been?" Jerry didn't even turn his head.

"Oh I tripped and hurt myself a little, so I had a friend teach me and he let me crash." I lied, hoping he'd believe me. Which he did.

"Ok then, just tell me next time." there wasn't a tone of concern in his voice, I could tell he was getting fed up of me.

I felt my throat go dry, I wanted to tell him, "Ok Jerry, it wont happen again." But I couldn't, because I couldn't guarantee the fact that it wouldn't happen again.

I watched as Jerry finished up, washing the bowels and going over to the study where he pulled out a couple of books, studying them thoroughly.

I walked over to the kitchen, getting myself a glass of water. Before it had reached my lips, the glass slipped from my hands, crashing to the floor.

Jerry sighed, putting down his book and running over to pick up the broken glass,

"_Allen, you're such a nuisance."_

The words hit me with so much force, I took a step back. My eyes went wide as tears trickled from my eyes, "I'm such an idiot!" I broke into sobbing, "I cant even protect my most important person! I knew he loved Lavi, I knew I was interfering but yet, I still drove on. I threw myself onto Kanda, I'm just in his way! I'd rather not have existed in the first place. I'm so useless! All I can do is bring misfortune to others!" I punched the wall, over and over again, until my fist was sore and bleeding.

Jerry wrapped his arms around me, whispering and telling me I wasn't useless, I knew he was lying. I knew.

Calming myself down, I looked up at Jerry, "Could you please, if Kanda calls, tell him in not here."

"_Dear God,_

_I'm in such a mess._

_I feel like I'm walking in circles _

_and I cant decide on a different direction. _

_Yet I want to pull away from this etched trail_

_and create my own path._

_Into the wilderness._

_Into the trees… "_


	8. Give up

**I just realised that Kanda is both seme and uke in this fic~ **

**so its kinda hard to keep him in character... **

**typing in 3rd person is fun .**

**Disclaimer: i do not own DGM Katsura Hoshino does~**

* * *

I called up for the fifth time, the same person picked up, but I still asked, "Is Allen Walker there?"

The voice gave a sigh, "No he isn't. Look," he sounded irritated, "Could you just leave the poor boy alone? he's really traumatized right now."

In the background I could hear the jingling of keys and the rustling of someone's coat, "I'm leaving." Allen's voice rang out.

"ALLEN! ALLEN! COME BACK ALLEN!" I desperately tried to retrieve my lost person's voice, "I'm sorry for not visiting you!"

"Please." the receiver rang out before the line went dead.

Throwing the phone down I ran outside, despite it being twelve in the night. I ran to the place where we always went, where we had always shared our troubles and fears.

I ran to the park, the cold begun to get to me. I watched as a figure walked towards the little abandoned park. He sat down on the swings, pushing it a little, looking about.

The sky was clear tonight, the stars were shining as brightly as ever, the wind blew over my face as I walked towards Allen slowly.

He didn't seem to notice me, swinging slowly he started humming, then softly began to sing a foreign song the melody strange, yet entrancing,

"The stars are the priceless jewels,

that linger in the night.

No money,

nor method,

will ever bring them down.

Unless you make that special contract,

I'll give up my love,

Just to reach the stars."

He finished, holding the last note until it resounded into silence.

"ALLEN! " I cried suddenly, realizing I hadn't seen him for so long.

Allen looked up, like a deer hearing it's predator. He got up, beginning to sprint away from me. I was horrified, he had a look of fear in his eyes. But my horror was converted to anger, I had summoned up all this courage to see him and he runs away!

I ran with all my might, catching up easily.

Reaching out, I grabbed his wrist. Feeling the jerk, Allen spun round yanking his arm out of my reach, but I persisted to cling on.

"LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!" Allen cried, tears streaming down his face, still attempting to pull his arm away.

"NO!" I retorted, pulling him towards me and embracing him in a tight hug, "NEVER!" I screamed into his hair. I breathed in his scent, as his sobs ceased into silence, breathing in unison with me.

There was a long silence before Allen spoke, "I'm sorry Kanda." he whispered.

"What?" I didn't understand, "What do you mean?"

"Goodbye." he said simply, not answering my question. He looked me in the eyes, repeating the last few lines of his song,

"I'll give up my love,

Just to reach the stars."

* * *

My words came out as mere breaths, fogging up and vanishing into the night.

I thought about my actions, my promise to mother. I knew that maybe my body was reacting to that promise now, even though it was too late. Maybe I saw Kanda as a mother, not a lover. My body might have responded to that thought. That's why, its dangerous. I can't be near people like him, not anymore.

"_I have to end this, now. I have to tear myself away before I hurt him even further."_

"I still don't-" Kanda finally realized, his eyes went wide.

I felt myself fade. I held my hands in front of my face, seeing Kanda's face through them. I smiled, leaning forward, my lips touching his. I knew he wouldn't feel anything. I kissed him, touching his face lightly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you Kanda." I said, striding away from him, he tried to grab me, but his hands just went trough mine " I'm sorry that I was weak. But, you'll forgive me…wont you? " I turned and smiled, a tear trickling down my cheek.

"See you… Kanda…" I said before I disappeared completely.

* * *

I watched him as he disappeared into the night, a hole torn into my heart. I was about to leave, but something shiny caught my eye, buried within the snow. Brushing away the white powder, I picked it up.

It was the locket that I had giving to him on his birthday, only a year ago. It seemed like yesterday. I held it tightly to my chest, treasuring it. Something touched my head. I looked up, it was snowing. I didn't cry, nor did I smile, but I began to make my way home.

"See ya… moyashi…" I whispered into the night air.

"_Dear God,_

_will you watch over my loved ones,_

_even if I have given them up._

_Grant them the happiness that they deserve, _

_bless them with fortune and love. _

_That, I wish to see some day."_

* * *

**I APOLOGISE**

**KANDA IS REALLY OOC**


	9. Allen

**(damn theres somthing wrong with my 'i' key i keep having to go back and filling them in...)**

**DISCALIMER: i do not own DGM/Katsura hosihno**

* * *

_Five years later._

"Allen, it's been five years since you left, I'm doing fine as usual. I bet right now your shoving your face with food or something, not that I care. I got married to Lavi, I know that you'd be happy to see me happy, maybe not. But anyway, I hope that, even if you did give up your love, you'd remember me, or something like that-"

I looked up from my letter, seeing a shadow.

"What'cha doing Yuu-chan?" Lavi sang.

"None of your fucking business!" I retorted, piling books on top of the letter.

"Ohh is it our anniversary letter? Or is it a runaway letter so you can go cheat on me and elope or something?"

"NO! SHUT UP AND GET PISSED!"

"Awww come one! Just one little peek wont hurt!" Lavi nudged me.

"NO!" I went red.

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaseeeeeeeee!" he nagged, tugging at my sleeve, "Yuu-samaaaaaaa-"

His eyes went wide as I gave him a deep throated kiss, just to shut him up.

I watched as my husband went into a trance-like state, it was rare of me to give away free kisses.

"What do you want for dinner honey~" he gawked, "Roast chicken or…" he pulled his face up right next to mine, "…do you want me?" he gave one of his grins.

"AS IF-"

"JUST JOKING!" Lavi cried over my comeback, giving me a kiss on the nose before running off.

"That bastard." I swore, returning to finish my letter.

* * *

Lavi stuck his head out of the kitchen, with his 'kiss the cook' apron on, "Where are you going Yuu-chan?"

"I'm going out for a walk! Is there something wrong with that baka usagi?" I yelled back, pulling on my shoes.

"Wear a coat wont you? It's freezing during winter, you'll catch a cold."

"I know that! I'm not stupid!" I shouted, sticking my arms through a coat.

We were still living in our pink building, Lavi had suggested we moved after cleaning up the mess after the day of the big incident, but I had insisted on staying. I knew that in my heart that I couldn't let him go. But soon I realized that I lived here because I wanted to remember him and not forget him. I loved him, I knew, but I just couldn't have a two sided affair. Even moyashi had known that.

I strolled along, my face set in the same expression as it always was, stern and unfeeling. In my coat pocket I curled my hand around the locket, feeling its shape and hardness.

I passed the park, not looking at it, but I saw something in the corner of my eye, a figure, sitting on the swings. I spun around, my heart hoping ever so slightly for a miracle. But the swings sat empty of any existence, swinging in the winter breeze. I let out an embarrassed laugh, feeling like an idiot. I walked on, past the swings with a stone in my heart.

* * *

"The blizzard will be continuing for the rest of the day, please refrain from going outdoors." the weather lady informed.

I sat on the couch, curling my hands around the cup of hot chocolate I had just made. The wind continued to bang on the windows, attempting to break the glass. I sighed cancelling the dinner plans for tonight.

"_I hope Lavi's ok…" _

I walked over to the kitchen sink, pouring the cup's contents down it. I had felt really restless for the past few months. It was a feeling in the pit of my stomach, yet I couldn't get rid of the feeling. It was a feeling of longing.

"I don't know what's gotten into me…" I said aloud, walking over to the window and staring into the swirling snow.

"_I wish he would come back, I miss him so much…"_

I didn't know whether I was referring to Lavi or Allen. I listened to the yammering of the TV none of the words making sense. The world was turning grey, but I knew why. I just could do anything about it.

My eyes lit up as a heard a slight knock on the door.

"Lavi?"

I got up, looking back at the swirling snow, it was impossible for him to have come back at a time like this. I wondered who it was. Maybe it was the old lady that lived on the first floor, asking for something again.

I kept the chain on, twisting the handle. The knocking stopped and I could hear quick sharp breaths being drawn on the other side of the door. I pulled the door open a crack and peeked outside.

My heart stopped. My mind went blank. My lips went dry.

"Allen."

"_Dear God,_

_Why do you answer my prayer now? _

_Why do you choose_

_to give me_

_Another chance._

_When I thought _

_I had lost it?"_


	10. Betrayal

**next chapter is the final chapter and i dont even know if **

**the endings ok...**

**Disclaimer:DGM/Katsura Hoshino (im getting lazy)**

* * *

"Allen." that was all I could say.

The boy I had left behind ten years ago stood before me, white from the cold. His eyes were red from crying, I could tell.

"Kanda…" he whispered, tying to reach through the door.

I rubbed my eyes, thinking that it was all a dream.

"Don't…don't… " I covered my eyes, I had nothing to say, my emotions were all churning up, I felt so confused. I pushed his hands away and slammed the door closed.

"Kanda, I missed you. Please, let me in." I could hear him cry, I could picture him outside, "Kanda…" he was sobbing quietly.

_I didn't know what to do._

"Kanda…" he kept repeating my name, again and again. His voice piercing my mind.

I couldn't take it anymore, I yanked the chain off and pulled the boy in, embracing him ever so tightly.

I don't remember how long we stood there for. But for the first time in ten years the burden in my heart vanished.

* * *

"Yuu-chan! I'M HOME!" I cried as I slammed the door open, forgetting that it was only two o'clock in the morning. The blizzard had lasted all night long but I had promised dinner with my boyfriend. I had watched the storm till my eyelids were forcing themselves downwards, when it had settled a little I had hopped into my car and driven back without smashing into a pole or rather anything at all.

"Yuu-chan?" I shook my coat till it was snow-free and hung it up. I noticed that there were an extra pair of boots in the hall.

"_Maybe he had a friend over."_

It finally got to me that it was so early in the morning. Sneaking about I hung up the washing, careful not to wake up who ever resided in the house.

Before long my brain stopped working and I was half asleep. Walking to the bedroom I knocked lightly and twisted the door knob. It was locked.

"Yuu?" I knocked a little louder. He didn't usually lock the door, even if I weren't around. Panic rose up in my chest.

"Yuu? YUU!" I screamed frantically, trying to break the door down.

"Shut up rabbit! I'm changing!" Kanda's voice was like a siren.

I felt a little obliged to wait but I didn't, pulling out my keys I flung the door open.

"Yuu I…" my smiled faded as I tried to take in what I saw.

There was a boy hurriedly attempting to put his clothes back on, if it weren't for my intrusion he'd still be naked. I remembered him, from five years ago. The boy that had ruined my love life. That idiot that had left Yuu heart-broken.

This was all just happening too quickly. I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

"Lavi! It wasn't Kanda's fault!" Allen cried, quick to defend his lover.

"SHUT UP!" I felt anguish rush through my body, my hands clenched into fists. I just couldn't take it anymore. This boy was trying to take away everything I had, the only thing that kept my world going.

He was stealing it all. Right before my very eyes.

* * *

I looked from Allen to Lavi, wanting to scream. There was nothing I could do, nothing that I could **think** of doing. I knew I was wrong at what I had done, but I knew that Lavi was stubborn, that even if I told him it was all my fault, he would pin the blame on Allen.

"Lavi, listen to me." I gave it a shot, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the hallway.

He resisted and shook me off, his anger reflected in his eyes.

"Do have anything against me? What is it? My eyes? My hair? My race? What makes it so that you have to take what is mine?" he shouted at Allen.

"Lavi I'm not an object!" I protested, seeing Allen getting to the point where he couldn't suppress his anger any longer.

"YOU THINK BARG IN HERE FIVE YEARS LATER, HOPING YOU CAN JUST HAVE YOUR WAY, DON'T YOU?"

"Lavi don't yell." I tried to calm him down.

"YOU JUST SCAVENGE OFF PEOPLE AND TAKE IT ALL!"

I couldn't understand, I was really confused, I could take it anymore. I did something that I never wanted to do again in my life.

Not ever again.

"_Dear God,_

_Is it bad to be biased, _

_to choose what you think is right _

_in your heart?_

_Is that what people call justice?_

_To let every one have a say._

_But not every thought is the same._

_So what do I do now?_

_What **can** I do now? "_

* * *

**i know alot of people porbably hate Lavi to the guts now**

** dont hate him...**

**dont overreact stay calm.**

**light some inscense or something...**

**same with every one else who is angry~**


	11. The End

**YAY!**

**and BOO!**

**coz its the last chapter...**

**DGM/Katsura Hoshino**

* * *

I watched as Kanda raised his hand.

The sound rang in the air.

The sound of hurt and anguish.

I watched as Kanda slapped him, I felt guilty all the same.

Maybe I was the one that should have been slapped. For intruding. For appearing and acting as if nothing had happened.

Lavi was left in shock, is eyes widened. Standing there.

No one said anything.

Kanda looked up defiantly into Lavi's eyes, "No one talks to Allen like that, not even you."

Lavi's eyes overwhelmed in rage, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles went white, "So this is what you want, Kanda?"

It was the first time I had ever heard him call Kanda by his last name.

"Is this what you want? To live with this idiot that only brings nothing but trouble?"

I cringed at the word 'trouble' but Kanda strode over towards me and held my hand.

"If by all means, yes. I don't care what he brings with him. Whether it be monsters or aliens."

Kanda squeezed my hand gently, I could tell he was afraid. I squeezed his had back, an attempt to give him confidence.

It was as if we were in deadlock no one would or could move. It seemed like a decision to give or take.

* * *

I watched Lavi as he gave a sigh, giving me a look that I had never seen before. His eyes had lost all the anger and rage, what replaced it was sadness and grief. His expression tore at my heart.

He took a step forward. I took one back, grabbing Allen's hand tightly, trembling in fear.

He walked past me and over to Allen, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Please, take good care of him. I'm counting on you. " he placed a key in Allen's hand, then he strode off, not even looking at me. I knew he was going to cry. We heard the door slam and silence rang out.

I laughed putting a hand over my eyes and laughing.

"Did you see that? He just, gave up…" I could feel Allen's eyes on me, reading me like a book. My laughing ceased to crying, I just stood there, crying my heart out, for the man I had **loved**. Allen ran his hand through my hair, murmuring words that soothed the mental wounds. Wounds that left scars.

* * *

I packed up all of Lavi's belongings, placing them in a box along with all his other things. Heaving a sigh I wiped the sweat from my face and carried the box outside and put them outside the front door.

A note had been slipped in the mail box, telling us to place all his belongings outside so he could pick them up. I knew he was doing it for the best.

Feeling a little tiered I went to get a drink, before I opened the fridge a note on the door caught my eye.

Lavi had always left notes on the fridge door, reminding me all sorts of things, whether it was packing up my collage stuff or things I was always forgetting.

I pulled it off and a ring dropped out from beneath it. I picked it up and read the note:

"Dear Yuu,

Please take care,

Thanks for everything.

I love you.

PS don't forget your coat.

Love Lavi"

I made a face to stop the tears, why did he have to do things like this?

"What's wrong Kanda?" Allen appeared, holding another box.

"Nothing moyashi. Here, I have something for you." I replied, pulling off a natural reply. He wondered over in curiosity and I caught his hand, placing the wedding ring that had been left behind on his finger.

I gave him a kiss on the lips, hugging him. Allen looked at the ring and gave a soft smile, throwing his arms around me.

"I love you moyashi." I whispered

"I love you too Kanda."

"_Dear God,_

_in life we are forced to make so many decisions. _

_Decisions that will affect every one we've conversed with. _

_It's just like a thread, _

_one tug and every one connected to it_

_will feel the impact. _

_It's not a matter of friend or foe. _

_It's just knowing that making a decision_

_that comes from the heart._

_Is what you think is best. "_

**Thanks so much to everyone for pulling themselves through my odd fic **

**and bracing themselves for everything that could have happen!**


End file.
